#365songs (28 / 365)

I know, I know. Hear me out, though.

If I'd ever heard a single Taylor Swift song before 2024, it didn't stick enough for me to remember it when I asked my friend to make me a playlist based on the Venn diagram of her knowledge of my personal music taste and her favorites from the catalog. She agreed, with gusto, and when I told people about it, most of them thought she was doing me a nice favor. But I thought I was doing her a favor! What's better than getting to share something that's important to you with a friend who's demonstrated they care about it? What's better than "So what did you think? What was your favorite song?"

Well, my favorite song of the 25 in the playlist that I received was "Anti-Hero." Despite being oblivious to pretty much all things Taylor Swift I was familiar with the phrase "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me" and hearing it in its actual context was kind of exciting. That I liked the song as much as I did was even more so. At first it was mostly just because of the melody, but then other layers started to unfold too. As a lot of people are fond of pointing out, Taylor Swift doesn't have a super virtuosic voice, but I've never really cared about that in the music I'm drawn to. Instead: I like the swing from the high notes at the beginning of the verses way down to the pre-chorus, which sounds like it's gotta be near the bottom of Swift's range. And I really like how the bridge is just the chorus sung in a sort of world- (or self-) weary sprechgesang. Like if you think it's exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero, imagine being her.

I know it's kind of standard, and kind of a weird parasocial dynamic, for people to latch on to Taylor Swift's music because they identify with her personally in some way. But that is what works for me with "Anti-Hero" — as a sometime songwriter myself, and one who habitually writes about my own real or perceived shortcomings, it is heartening to see the most famous musician in the world doing the same. It's validating, also, that her writing is honestly sometimes kind of clunky! Like mine! "The monster on the hill / slowly lurching toward your favorite city?" Come on. "Did you see my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism / like some kind of congressman?" Come the fuck on!! I don't mean to do the backhanded compliment thing. I really and truly appreciate that "Anti-Hero" doesn't feel polished to within an inch of its life. But also? "Anti-Hero" is perfect where it counts: "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me." OK, maybe my friend was doing me a favor too.